


I Didn't Kiss Him

by AgeOfTonyJunior



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes & Clint Barton Friendship, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, OT4, Rating: M, Steve and Tony are married, Steve is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 13:34:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7317313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgeOfTonyJunior/pseuds/AgeOfTonyJunior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers is happily married and in a relationship with his best friend. His husband and best friend are boyfriends and both have a third boyfriend. The family dynamics are strange but they're all happy. Steve has been having feelings for his husband and best friend's boyfriend and he acts on them, creating a ripple in the settled-still relationships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Didn't Kiss Him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hi_Im_Lou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hi_Im_Lou/gifts).



Clint stands under the New York Gray sky, cold to his bones and the rain soaking him even beyond. He sighs to the wind and shoves his hands deeper into his pockets. He regrets his decision or lack of decision rather, but it’s too late. Hours pass by as the rain continues to pour but Clint doesn’t have it in mind to go inside. He’s replaying the events that occurred earlier in the afternoon over and over again behind his eyes, coming to the same conclusion every time. He should’ve acted.

A cold hand comes down on the soaking wet fabric of his purple hoodie, startling and bringing him out of his thoughts. He turns around and finds that the hand belongs to Bucky, the left. Clint waits for Bucky to speak first, not really in the mood to start a conversation. Bucky remains silent, his eyes on the archer, searching him deep for something that Clint knows he’s missing. He averts his eyes, looking down on his knee - length black army boots instead. The sound of the rain washing down heavily on the tower’s balcony filling his ears.

“Come inside with me.” Bucky’s voice breaks through the rushing of the water, hand still on Clint’s shoulder. “I’d rather not.” Clint says quietly, hands balling to fists in his pockets. “Can’t stay out here forever. You’re gonna get cold eventually.” Bucky hypothesizes, letting go of Clint’s shoulder to brush the night - black wet hair from his face. “I won’t.” He sneezes in reply, betraying his words. “Sure you won’t. Come on. He’s locked himself up as well. You won’t see him.” Bucky literally shoves Clint back through the glass doors under the expensive shielding roof of Tony’s empty living room.

 

Steve’s been in his room for too long, he realizes this much, but he can’t bring himself to go outside and face his mistake. He sketches away the scene that plays in front of him. New York’s dull dark before sunset sky raining down on the unsuspecting city below. The scene is truly magnificent. The sky where the sun is on the verge of sinking below the horizon is a brilliant bright red through the dark clouds, a very faint rainbow teasing through as well.

Steve sketches in pencil so he can’t fill in the vibrant colours of his sketch but behind his desk Tony is noting the extravagant display of nature. He points his camera lens at the wide window above Steve’s head and clicks to take the picture. He doesn’t stop there. He tries for a more romantic one that captures Steve’s back against the bright and yet monochromatic sky. Tony then zeros in on his sketch, noting it eternally in his camera. Steve settles his pencil down upon his sketchbook after signing the page with S.G.R. in his cursive handwriting.

Tony brings his hands down on the Captain’s tense shoulders and begins messaging them to relax him a little. Steve sighs deeply under his touch, suddenly very aware of the precious metal ring on Tony’s finger as he works his hands efficiently. He did tell Tony what he did a few hours ago obviously, and even though Tony took it very well, he still couldn’t forgive himself. Steve suddenly drops his head down onto his desk, too overwhelmed by the events of the day to make sense of anything. Tony’s hands follow him, wrapping ever so gently around his neck and rubbing delicately. He shuts his eyes and lets himself really feel Tony’s touch on his skin as he works just for Steve’s own benefit without being asked.

He loves Tony. He loves him with every fibre of his being, super soldier or not. The ring matching Tony’s on his own left hand serving as proof. He’s always loved Bucky as well. And Tony agreed to marry him despite him being in a relationship with his best friend. The both of them were really good at that, understanding that Steve was in love with the both of them equally. But what he’s done now might’ve ruined everything.

Steve holds his head between his hands and tries not to think, to just focus on Tony. He concentrates on his breathing, managing to find a rhythm that matches Tony’s inhales and exhales. It’s working. Tony can feel his pulse slow under the tips of his fingers. “This is much better.” Tony whispers to the streaks of water on the window, only loud enough for Steve to hear. “Your pulse is slow and steady. Just like mine. Can you hear it?” Of course Steve can hear Tony’s heart beating and Tony knows this but he wants to hear Steve say something. Steve nods slightly in response but Tony is not content with his answer. “I didn’t hear you babe.” He leans into the back of Steve’s chair, still very gently working his fingers in the tense spots on Steve’s neck. “I can hear it.” He says almost to himself, leaning back just as Tony leans even further forward. “Let me know that you can.”

Challenging, Tony knows exactly what Steve will do. And he does. Steve shifts a little in his chair so he’s looking at Tony and with a thumb coaxes Tony down to his level. He tilts Tony’s head to the left and brings his lips down to brush against his pulse point. Tony shivers. Steve doesn’t kiss or bite or lick Tony’s neck, just leaves his lips touching the soft skin. Very content to just breathe in his very familiar scent of expensive cologne and to count every beat of his heart under his lips as the sun slowly sets, darkening Steve’s room and creating Tony’s favourite mood.

“Steve..” Tony mutters to the ever increasing rain. “I feel every beat, just about rushing. Expecting..” The brush of his lips on Tony’s neck does increase his pulse. “Are you gonna keep me waiting?” Tony asks true to his snarky persona. Steve answers by parting his lips very slightly and kissing Tony’s neck. He can feel Tony’s breath as he shuts his eyes and inhales deeply at the tingling sensation. Steve kisses him again and Tony responds in the same way, drawing in another breath and making Steve kiss that rising pulse point again. Tony’s arm comes around the back of Steve’s head, never pushing or forcing but letting him know that he can take it a step further. Steve moves his lips, kissing the entire length of Tony’s neck before sinking his teeth lightly on the exposed collar bone, making Tony visibly shudder under his touch.

Steve pulls away from the sweet smell of Tony to look into his eyes as he backs away from the chair and heads towards the bed. Steve stands up and follows him, watching Tony sit down first then lie back, inviting Steve in. Steve climbs up to trap Tony under his body. Hands on either side of his head and legs on the outside of his own. Tony reaches up in the darkness of the room and slips his finger under the collar of Steve’s shirt, hooking it in the metal chain Steve always wore. He pulls on it a little forcing Steve to follow the movement and cover his body with his larger frame.

Tony pulls the chain just a bit further for his lips to ghost over Steve’s. “Kiss me Cap.” He whispers barely hearing his own voice, his lips brushing up ever so slightly against Steve’s. His lips connect with Tony’s softly, sliding together to fit his perfectly. Tony kisses him slowly despite wanting more, letting Steve lead the way and part his lips only when he had enough of tasting Tony’s own. Steve holds his lips to the genius’s until they both need to breathe. He pulls his lips away, taking his time and making Tony chase after his mouth. When Steve captures his lips again, he parts them a fraction, giving Tony what he wants but still commanding every move.

Tony slips his tongue between Steve’s lips, claiming him his. They move in sync, with Steve shifting his hands down and under Tony’s shirt and Tony exposing Steve’s back as he still had his lips. “Faster baby.” Tony parts with Steve’s pink lips, licking his own and trying to free his legs to wrap around Steve’s waist. Steve keeps his words to himself like he’s been doing for a while but helps Tony out of his shirt, removing his quickly after and freeing Tony’s legs that come up around his hips right away. Tony barely tilts his head up before he meets Steve’s lips again, soft and warm and tasting like home. As their kisses grow in need for each other and Tony’s hands wander to the glinting zipper of the soldier’s pants in the darkness, the rain streaked window becomes the only witness to what transpires after Tony slides Steve’s zipper down.

 

Bucky leads Clint up to his room and undresses him despite the string of complaints that rang in his ears. “I told you I didn’t want to change.” Clint repeats as Bucky pulls his hoodie over his head. Bucky simply laughs, tossing the purple hoodie aside and proceeding to undo his pants. “What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I let you wear wet clothes to bed?” “A better one than I’ll ever be.” Clint mutters to himself but he knew Bucky hears his every word.

“Hey. None of that crap.” Bucky lets Clint’s pants fall down to his ankles. “You know it’s true.” Clint steps out of his pants and looks up to find Bucky holding a dry pair. “What we have isn’t exactly ideal.” He kneels down and holds the sweats as Clint steps in them. “You had him first and you agreed to the whole Tony thing because you realized that you actually felt something for him.” Bucky pulls his sweats up to his hips and tosses him a shirt. Clint catches it and puts it on while Bucky was changing out of his own wet clothes. “Yeah. I love Steve and I love you but I love Tony too.” 

“You told me about Tony right away.." Clint climbs into the bed. "So did you.” Bucky picks up the wet clothes and tosses them into the laundry basket. “And just like you didn’t mind Tony after you knew about my relationship with Steve, I don’t mind that he kissed you.” He joins Clint in bed, pulling the thickest blanket around them and leaning close. “We kinda saw it coming. You being with me and Tony and Steve being with me and him. You two were the only two left to finish the square.”

Clint snuggles close to Bucky, resting his head on his chest. “Me having two boyfriends, you and Tony having three, Steve having two… How did that happen?” Bucky sighs and listens to the still falling rain for a while. “It’s what makes happy.” “Steve isn’t happy. I didn’t kiss him. He was so heartbroken.” Clint’s voice cracks at the last word. Bucky’s hand brushes his hair, his lips pressing to the blond hair.

“I’m horrible.” Clint mumbles, letting the tears he’s been holding back since this afternoon fall onto Bucky’s shirt. “Sshhh. Sshhh. You’re not horrible.” He continues to run his fingers through the damp blond hair. “I am but I didn’t want to hurt him. Bucky, I didn’t. I.. I didn’t.. I should’ve said..” Clint stutters, tears falling faster and soaking his boyfriend’s shirt just like the rain had. But the rain can’t ever be sad. Not like Clint can.

“You love him.” Bucky finishes for him, his hand stilling at the nape of his neck. Clint nods. “There’s still time to fix things.” Bucky lifts Clint’s chin to look into his eyes. “You can fix this. Get yourself a third boyfriend.” He smiles and plants a kiss to Clint’s lips. Clint sinks his head back on Bucky’s chest, unable to stop his mind from replaying the events of late afternoon. He wipes away the tears collecting above his cheeks and sighs, trying to focus his sharp hearing on the rain shooting away at the glass of his window.

 

It’s late afternoon and the sun hasn’t been up all day. Clouds have been moving in quickly and threatening to let go of their cargo. Clint shivers and watches his breath rise up. It’s colder than usual for this time of year and being out in the shooting range isn’t helping. Bucky’s arms wrap around Clint’s shoulders, covering him with the warmth of his jacket. “Thanks.” Clint turns around and shrugs into the warmth. “Any time. Are you ready for me to prove that I’m a better marksman?”

Protected from the soon coming rain under the roof of the platform, Bucky very smugly sets up his sniper rifle and takes aim. “You’re better in your dreams, Barnes!” Clint takes aim as well and fires his gun, hitting the target in the very centre. He turns sideways to smirk at his boyfriend who sticks his tongue out and fires away. “Ha! You missed!” Clint exclaims, readying his rifle for a second shot. “What are you talking about?! That’s a bullseye!” Bucky complains, refusing to lose to the archer.

“It’s a little bit off centre.” Clint fires his second round just as those clouds began to rain slowly. Bucky rolls his eyes and fires at Clint’s target, hitting the bullseye again. He winks when Clint turns to look at him, clearly confused but impressed. "Admit it.“ Bucky orders, his eyes glinting with joy at the expression on his boyfriend’s face. Clint shakes his head, "Nope. Never going to.” and fires again for practice. “Because you’re jealous!” Bucky supplies, over confident of his own skill.He earns a cocked eyebrow from Clint. “Come on! You are! I’ve been a sniper a lot longer than you have!” “Doesn’t make me feel jealous. Not denying that you’re really good either.” The archer compliments as both he and Bucky spot Steve and Tony walking hand in hand out into the range.

Tony’s wearing Steve’s favourite sweater and it’s too big on him. “Raided the Captain’s closet again, Tony?” Clint asks when Steve and Tony are close enough to hear him. “I’m cold. Besides, it smells like Steve. Of course I’m gonna steal it.” Tony brags, letting go of Steve’s hand and jumping onto Bucky as soon as they are under the roofed section where the rifles sit. “Hey.” Bucky greets quietly, both hands steadying Tony who’s wrapped himself around his body. “Hi.” Tony smiles and brushes his nose against Bucky’s.

Steve shifts his attention to Clint while his two boyfriends Eskimo kiss away. “Bucky trying to prove himself the better sniper again.” He mentions, not as a question. He already knows how competitive Buck is. Clint chuckles, “Yeah. Keeps trying to get me to admit he’s better than me.” He shakes his head, smiling. “Not in his dreams.” “You’re just as proud of yourself as he is.” Steve notes, his eyes drifting to Tony and Bucky who are whispering at each other’s lips.

Clint’s eyes follow his. “Thanks. I guess..” He grimaces. Steve catches his frown out of the corner of his eye and faces him. “The self esteem, huh?” He says knowingly to which Clint nods and returns to watching his older boyfriends. Steve looks out across the range as it starts to rain more and a flicker of lightning hits over on the other end of the range. Clint is faraway in thought. “Do you ever think about it?” He asks, reclaiming the soldier’s attention. “Us having them and them having us?”

Steve takes a breath and nods. “All the time. Buck and I were always a given but somehow we drifted and that’s when you and Buck and Tony and I happened.” Clint attacks his bottom lip with his teeth. “And Tony and Bucky and myself and Tony just kinda fit in the slots. But it’s all very strange.” Clint pauses and Steve doesn’t push, just listens to the sound of Tony and Bucky kissing masked by the rushing of the rain. ”Bucky says it doesn’t matter and I want to believe that, Cap.” The soldier rests his hand on Bucky’s rifle. “He tells me the same thing. You’ll believe it in time.”

Clint exhales and focuses his attention on Bucky and Tony. “Get a room!” He yells and Tony laughs. “We intend to!” “Get on with it then!” Steve joins and his words make Bucky ease Tony off his hips and onto his feet. He keeps a hold of his hand as he steps forward to kiss Clint and shortly after, Steve. Tony copies Bucky and kisses the two blonds before tugging Bucky under the rain and towards the tower. “Wait!” Clint calls as he is taking off Bucky’s jacket. “Don’t forget your jacket.” He says as he hands it to Bucky. “You sure you don’t want it?” Bucky asks taking a hold of his jacket. “Yeah. Absolutely.” He nods, earning Bucky’s wide grin in response before Tony pulls on his hand again.

Clint and Steve watch as they run under the pouring rain with content smiles colouring their faces. Bucky chases Tony all the way to the entrance of the tower where they lose sight of them. Clint turns to face the soldier. ”Wanna give it a try?” He asks, patting the sniper rifle in front of him. Steve’s eyes widen and he shakes his head. “No way. Not me.” He answers honestly, his smile audible in his voice. “Not in everybody’s interests, I guess.” “Maybe not. But bikes are in both of our interests.” Steve tries to make small talk but he can feel the awkwardness hanging in the air.

“You have an amazing bike, Cap. No one else has anything that gets even close to your awesome bike.” Clint marvels, beautiful grin on his face. Steve feels his cheeks colouring brightly, rapidly. He clears his throat. “Tony kind of rebuilt the entire thing so it’s a Stark original.” Clint frowns, making Steve regret every word he said. He tries to cover up his blunder. “But I’m sure he’ll get right on your bike.” Clint’s expression doesn’t change and Steve curses himself mentally. Why did he have to brag about the damn bike?

Steve is biting the inside of his lip and Clint takes notice. “It’s okay Cap. Tony may not pass time upgrading my bike, but he spends a lot of time working on my recurve and arrows. We’re kinda even.” Clint attempts to draw Steve’s attention away from his previous frown. It works and Steve smiles slightly, nothing like his usual stunning smile. Did Clint really just think that? Before he even has the time to make sense of what he thought, Steve is suddenly very close to him.

Clint looks up at the soldier and can’t decipher his expression. “Cap?” He asks but Steve says nothing, just takes another step towards the archer. Clint eyes the shrinking distance between him and the Captain. What is he doing? What is he thinking? Steve takes hold of Clint’s wrist and leans into him, stopping only to see if he can go on. Clint is too shocked to produce any reaction and Steve presses forward. He brings his lips to meet Clint’s in a kiss and for a while, he’s sure Clint will kiss him back.

He doesn’t, too frozen with Steve’s all too forward behaviour. He doesn’t pull his lips back though. He stays very still, feeling the soldiers lips move about his, kissing him very softly and demanding nothing. After a few seconds of no response, Steve pulls back to look at Clint. The look on his face breaks the marksman’s heart. He lips are pursed into a hard line and his blue eyes are the palest he’s ever seen. He looks as if he is trying so hard to hold back his tears.

“Cap..” Clint opens his mouth but he has no idea what to say. He stares at Steve as Steve looks back at him with that same heartbreaking expression. Clint blinks away the image and when he opens his eyes, he sees Steve’s back, getting drenched in the rain, running away from him. He’s feeling too many emotions at once and his heart is pounding with the rush. He can feel it as he starts shaking all over. He doesn’t know what just happened but he knows that he has to get out of the range and he starts running, ignoring the freezing rain that attacks him. He stops only when he is safely on the balcony of the tower.

 

Steve is panting heavily as he crumbles next to Tony. Something about the way he sounds worries him and he turns over to press his chest into Steve’s side. Steve glances over at Tony and grabs his hand, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it very softly. The gentleness of the action almost shatters Tony’s heart and he flicks his wrist to cup Steve’s face. He shuts his eyes and leans into Tony’s hand but the way he looks is far from peaceful. He looks pained and Tony absolutely hates it. He brushes his thumb over Steve’s cheek and to his surprise, Steve winces.

Tony draws his hand back to rest on his stomach but the soldier reaches for it again. Tony allows Steve to thread their fingers and lay them over his chest. But he is confusing Tony so much. He hardly said anything since he pinned Tony to the bed and now he looks like he is facing a dilemma. “Steve.” Tony whispers, voice hoarse. He waits for an answer but Steve remains silent. “Steve.” He repeats and gets his hand squeezed gently in response. “Baby, answer me.” Tony tries, bringing his other hand to wander the length of the soldier’s chiseled body.

Steve takes in a sharp breath at Tony’s touch but still says nothing. “Steve, you’ve been so quiet.” Tony starts. “You didn’t say anything to me at all while we had sex.” He pauses as the memory of Steve inside him but not being his, being completely distracted, comes to his mind. He frowns. “Not even my name.” He buries his face in Steve’s shoulder, resting his hand just above his belly button. Steve turns to face him. “Tony..” He whispers the name, making Tony look up from his shoulder. “Talk to me, honey. What’s bothering you. What’s clouding your mind.” He asks, very concerned.

Steve’s face shifts a couple of times before he speaks. “Tony..” He says again. “I’m right here baby.” Tony nuzzles into Steve’s neck, feeling the cool metal of his chain. “I’m listening, sweetheart.” Steve shifts so he’s lying on his side, facing Tony but still granting him access to his neck. “I did something wrong.’ Steve confesses. “I love you Tony, I do.” He shuts his eyes, biting down on his back teeth. “I kissed him and now I can’t shake him out of my head.” Tony cups Steve’s face in both hands and presses his forehead to his. “You told me baby. I’m not mad. It’s okay.” He smiles genuinely, brushing his fingers under Steve’s eyes so he’d open them. “I love you and I know that you love me. It’s okay.”

Steve growls, pushing Tony’s hands away and sitting up at the side of the bed. “Steve..” Tony breathes, shocked and scared. “It’s okay? That’s all you can say, that it’s okay?!” Steve yells, getting up and facing Tony who’s still sitting between the sheets on the bed. “I just fucked you while I was thinking about him and you tell me that it’s okay?!” Steve shakes with anger, his face and neck red. Tony stares at him, eyes wide and lips parted, unable to find words. “Well it’s not okay!” Steve continues, climbing onto the bed and grabbing Tony’s wrists too hard. “It’s not okay! It’ll never be okay!” Steve yells louder, shaking harder, his eyes welling with tears. “I’m disgusting.” His voice cracks and his silent tears spill. “I disgust myself and I don’t deserve you.” He finishes, dropping Tony’s wrists and burying his face in his hands, crying silently.

Tony stares down at his wrists, purple bruises forming in the shapes of Steve’s fingers. He still couldn’t find any appropriate words to say so he closes the distance between himself and Steve with a hug. Steve continues to hide his face in his hands but Tony is easing them down so they are lying on the bed. He just about had Steve under him when Steve pushes him away, going to stand by the window, darkness coloured by red clouds filling his vision.

Tony’s tears fall in spite of himself. How could he help it when the man he loves pushed him away. Tony sits as still as he can on the bed while shaking with his tears and stares at Steve’s naked back. His wrists hurt and he rubs at them, making a low sound at the pain. He sniffles, wiping his tears away as new ones fell and gets up off the bed. Steve hears his movements and turns away from the window. Tony is heading for the door when Steve catches his arm. Tony shakes it off and it hurts to do so. But not as much as it hurts to look at Steve. More tears descend his cheeks to collect in his goatee.

He opens the door but Steve’s hand slams it closed. He takes Tony’s wrists to lead him to sit back down on the bed and gasps, recognizing his own fingers bruising Tony’s wrists. He lips are parted but there will never be any words to make this right. Tony slips his wrists out of Steve’s loose hold and turns to face the door. Steve presses up behind him and Tony becomes very aware of Steve’s stomach muscles touching his back. They didn’t have time for clothes before it all went to hell. Tony steps forward, away from the soldier’s warmth but there isn’t much space and he ends up hitting the door with a small thud. Steve fills the step the genius had taken, wrapping his arms around his stomach. He drops his forehead on Tony’s left shoulder and Tony can feel him shaking. His tears resume their rain, this time catching on the soft skin of Tony’s shoulder instead of his hands.

Tony doesn’t move. He keeps standing where he is, wrapped up in Steve. “Tony..” The Captain whispers on a broken sob. A tear escapes and streaks Tony’s cheek. Steve’s arms tighten around him, pushing him back against his body, chain fitting between them and making Tony shudder at its coolness on his back. Tony touches Steve’s hands on his stomach, his touch barely a brush of fingertips but Steve stops right away. He raises his head and looks at Tony who whispers, “Let me go.” in a broken voice. Steve looks pained but drops his arms and backs away, giving Tony his space. The genius walks slowly back to the bed and takes a seat on the edge.

Steve desperately wants to follow him but can’t, not unless Tony wants that. He waits where he’s standing, shivering once in the cold against his naked body. Tony notices and holds out his hand, the print of Steve’s fingers on his wrist very vibrant. Steve’s heart breaks in his chest, knowing he’s the one who did that to Tony, as he steps forward and takes Tony’s hand, holding onto it very lightly. “Sit down.” Tony whispers, Steve does, not letting go of Tony’s hand. “You must really love me to be this violent.” Tony mumbles, eyes on Steve’s fingers as they run up and down his wrist softly, minding the bruise. Steve simply nods, acknowledging that he only hurt Tony because of how much he hates himself for kissing Clint. Tony licks his lips. “You’ve never hurt me..” Tony’s voice is choked with unspilled tears. “Ever.” He looks up Steve who avoids his eyes. “Why?” He asks, tears falling down his cheeks.

That’s what Steve is afraid of. Tony asking the only important question. He shuts his eyes, fingers still attempting to make a difference in touches on Tony’s wrist. “I wronged you and you don’t deserve that.” Steve says, his own tears spilling past his lashes. “I hate myself for what I did and I lashed out in the only way I know.” He continues, voice growing very quiet. “I would never hurt you. Never. I’d rather d..” “Sshhh.” Tony interrupts. “Don’t say it.” Steve lets go of Tony’s wrist to cup his face in both hands. “I’m sorry.” He breathes, his voice shaking significantly. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry Tony. I’m sorry. I’m horrible to you and I don’t deserve you. But I’m sorry.” Steve rambles, saying all that he felt so Tony would know. He drops his head, landing his forehead against Tony’s. “I’m sorry..” He whispers again, completely defeated by his own actions.

Tony wipes away a couple of fresh tears and tilts his head up, connecting his lips to Steve’s. Steve kisses him softly, fervently, surrendering himself to Tony’s lips. New tears streak his cheeks, but he can’t bring himself to care. He kisses Tony deeper yet very gentle, letting Tony lead him. Tony kisses him again and again, tangling his fingers in his blond hair, never wanting to let his lips miss a single brush of Steve’s. Steve pulls back, pain colouring his eyes. “I’m sorry..” He apologizes to Tony’s lips. “Sshhh.” Tony orders, capturing Steve’s lips again.

He lays back on the bed and Steve follows him, climbing over him and kissing him more passionately than ever. “I love you.” He mutters against Tony’s lips, fingers threading through his on either side of his head. Tony laughs and it sounds stunning. “I know. I know you’ll always love me.” He steals a kiss from Steve’s lips. “I have multiple bruises to prove it.” Tony smirks, digging his nails in the back of Steve’s hands. Steve smiles and kisses him slowly, savouring the taste of his lips, his metal chain dangling over Tony’s arc reactor.

Tony moans quietly and arches his hips up into Steve’s. Steve pulls away from his lips to ghost over his neck. Tony holds onto Steve’s hands tightly and Steve returns the favour with a little too much vigour. Tony welcomes the pain, distracting him from the purple bruises painting his wrists. He wants Steve now that he’s himself, with only his dark haired and brown eyed self on his mind. He touches his hips to Steve’s again and Steve moves, stalking his way lower down Tony’s body. Tony’s eyes flutter shut, focusing his other senses. The window and it’s never drying streaks of rain in the red darkness still watch them.

 

Clint wakes up to the sound of music filling the room. He sits up and stretches before getting up and pushing the lush mauve curtains away. He sighs and pushes them back to cover the window. He literally is only capable of seeing white in front of him, fog from last night’s rain accompanied by the incredible height of the tower. He turns to take a look at his sleeping boyfriend and smiles when all he can see of him is his dark hair spread out on his pillow. He smiles to himself again and heads towards the bathroom to take a shower.

When he finishes and gets dressed in Bucky’s favourite long sleeves shirt and a pair of purple sweats, he goes over to the little kitchen area in his and Bucky’s room to get started on breakfast. He never prepares anything fancy. When he spends the night with Bucky, he knows that by the time he wakes up, whatever he made will be too unappealing to eat. And when he spends the night with Tony, coffee will suffice. So he gets coffee started for Bucky and water boiling for his tea.

As he waits, he loses himself to the song that JARVIS has playing in the room, dancing and singing along to the music. All the songs are from his playlist and he knows without a doubt that Tony must’ve told his A.I. to play them at some point before he went to bed. That is if he did. He picks out the tea for the morning and soaks the bag in the boiling water, adding sugar, then he pours Bucky a mug of bitter black coffee, leaving both on the kitchen counter.

“Bucky!” He calls loudly to wake the lazy soldier. “Bucky! Get up!” Bucky groans under the blanket and tosses to face away from Clint. “Wake up. It’s late. Come on!” Clint climbs up on the bed and hits him with a pillow. “Noo. Stop that!” Bucky complains, pulling the blanket tighter above his head. Clint rolls his eyes. “I made tea and coffee.” He bribes, hitting his boyfriend again. “Together? That’s gross. Bucky mumbles, voice quieted by the pillow he buried his face in. "No, not together! Get up!” He smacks him with the pillow over his head.

“Stop it!” Bucky demands, emerging from the comfort of his blanket. “Nope! Not until you get up!” Clint teases, bringing the pillow down on Bucky’s face yet again. “Quit it!” Bucky yanks the pillow out of Clint’s hand and shoves it under his own. Clint brings out the adorable puppy face. “Please..” He pleads sweetly, fingers running up and down Bucky’s left arm. The soldier watches as he pouts and widens his eyes further. “All right!” Bucky gives up, smiling. “Thanks!” Clint says, excitement in his voice, already moving to get off the bed when cool metal wraps around his wrist, pulling him back down.

Bucky rolls on top of Clint and plants his lips to his, kissing him deeply. Clint’s hand tangles in the messy dark brown hair, pulling Bucky down to him, and kissing him further. Bucky kisses Clint like he’ll never get enough of kissing him, and Clint moans under his soft lips, pulling him down further still and swelling his lips with his own. Bucky’s kisses become too deep and passionate as he wants Clint, making Clint pull back, breathing heavily at his lips. “Don’t want to..” Clint takes in a sharp breath. “To do this in the morning..” He murmurs to Bucky’s lips. Bucky nods, licking his lips and kissing Clint one more time. He rolls over, allowing enough room for Clint to slide to the side of the bed and get up.

Clint makes his way over to the kitchen to pick up his tea while Bucky forces himself to get to the bathroom. He takes a sip of the warm tea but has to set his mug down when JARVIS cues his favourite song. He swings around the room to the beat when Bucky emerges from the bathroom smelling of toothpaste. “You’re in a happy mood.” Bucky notices, stepping behind Clint to reach his mug of black coffee. “Yeah. I woke up to JARVIS playing my favourites. Must be Tony.” Clint stops dancing and joins Bucky at the kitchen counter, taking another sip of tea.

Bucky bites the inside of his lip as he thinks. “Do you think it’s because Steve still feels bad and he knows you must be as well?” Clint nods. “I don’t think he left his room after you told me that he locked himself up.” Bucky lowers his mug as his eyes ask the question. “I know because it’s way too quiet. It’s never this quiet when Tony is up.” Clint theorizes that Tony must still be with Steve in his room and not down in his workshop blasting his music away. “Could be. He’ll definitely be there for Steve.” Bucky says, bringing his mug up to his lips.

“I don’t want him to feel bad.” Clint grips the edge of the counter as he remembers how Steve’s lips felt against his. They weren’t like Tony’s or Bucky’s. They were just like Steve himself; gentle and honest and exploring, yet afraid. Clint knows exactly why Steve kissed him with such hesitance. And he had to go do exactly what Steve didn’t want to happen by not kissing him back.

Clint feels Bucky’s arms wrap around his waist and he lets his thoughts of Steve’s lips go. Bucky pushes himself very close to Clint’s back, resting his head on his right shoulder blade. “I told you baby. You can fix it.” He whispers into Clint’s back. “How? I can’t just go up to him and kiss him. Then tell him that I’ve been in love with him ever since he helped me on that mission in Italy.” Clint rants to the mug in front of him. “Doesn’t have to be this hard. Just tell him why you didn’t kiss him and that you wanted to.” Bucky says softly, arms tightening a fraction around Clint, pulling him closer to comfort him. “Tony and I can help.”

Clint sighs and leans back into Bucky’s strong chest. Bucky uses the opportunity to kiss Clint’s neck, to distract him even if just for a few minutes. “Bucky.” Clint mumbles, angling his neck to the warm lips. “Please.” Bucky repeatedly kisses the same spot on the long neck, knowing what it does to the archer. “Please what?” He murmurs in Clint’s neck. Clint brings his hand to hold Bucky’s metal one on his hip. “Don’t do this.” He manages through biting his lower lip that held his moans in check.

Bucky draws his lips away from the sensitive skin, keeping his arms around the archer’s waist. “Is it because you want him instead?” Bucky asks, looking into Clint’s blue eyes. “No. Not because of that.” Clint admits honestly, turning around in Bucky’s arms to face him. “I just can’t do this when I’m so angry at myself.” He leans his head down onto Bucky’s collar bone. Bucky’s arms immediately go to work rubbing soothing circles over the archer’s tense back. “You don’t have to be. Solving this little dilemma of yours is so easy.” He kisses the top of Clint’s head. “Trust me. If I know anything, it’s how Steve thinks. And I know that he’ll listen to you.”

Clint sighs deeply into the soldier’s chest. “I can’t ever bring myself to say it even if I wanted to.” “I did say that Tony and I would help.” Bucky reminds him with a sing - song voice, his smile evident to Clint’s ears. Clint looks up into the bright blue eyes. “Are you sure he’ll listen? He must really hate me now.” Bucky pecks Clint’s lips. “I’m sure. And he doesn’t. He just expected differently.” Clint’s fingers fist tightly in Bucky’s shirt in worry. Bucky’s metal fingers follow his to wrap them softly in his own. “It’s gonna turn out to be the best conversation you’ll ever have with Stevie.”

Bucky loosens Clint’s fingers in his shirt, bringing his fingers up to his lips to brush his lips over them. Clint shuts his eyes and feels nothing but Bucky’s lips ghosting over his calloused hand. He made his decision to trust Bucky blindly a long time ago and knew that he shouldn’t be worried. He couldn’t help it, but he wasn’t going to pass on the opportunity to at least explain himself even if the captain decides to ignore his feelings.

The music still creates a happy atmosphere in the room that smells of coffee. Bucky turns himself and Clint around to lean against the kitchen counter. His eyes follow the gentle swaying of the curtains covering the cracked window. Through the mauve, Bucky only sees unmoving Gray. He brings his lips down to touch Clint’s short soft hair.

 

Steve lays awake in bed with Tony’s arms wrapping him in a loose hug. He isn’t dressed as isn’t Tony. They drifted to sleep in each other’s arms soon after the rain streaked window turned it’s watchful eyes away. He wants to listen to Tony’s every breath but the multiple sounds of the city below are interrupting the chorus of Tony’s gentle even breathing. He takes holds of Tony’s wrist by his hip and turns it over. The imprint of Steve’s fingers still present on the fair skin. Slowly and carefully, he brings the genius’s hand higher up and kisses the mark he left.

Tony opens his eyes at the touch and a smile brightens his face. “Steve.” He whispers, voice heavy with sleep. Threading his fingers through Tony’s, Steve faces his husband. “I’m here.” Tony cuddles up to Steve’s side. “Where else would you be?” He jokes way too early in the morning for Steve’s liking. He chuckles anyway. Tony brushes the back of Steve’s hand with his thumb. “Stop blaming yourself.” He hopes all too knowingly that Steve will. Steve kisses the soothing thumb. “I am to blame.” Tony shakes his head, pressing his forefinger to the Captain’s lips. “Don’t. Please. It’s okay. It’s more than okay.” He drops his finger and cups Steve’s face. ”They’re only marks. They’ll fade.” Steve attacks the inside of his lip. “I promise you honey.” Tony assures, smiling. “And now that they’re not hurting, I kind of like them.”

Steve’s eyebrows furrow. “Why?” He asks, pushing Tony’s hand away gently. Tony licks his lips, his fingers tracing Steve’s on his wrist. “Because you showed me how much it would hurt you if you ever thought that I would stop loving you.” “I’d do more than that.” Steve mumbles to himself, sitting up in bed. “That’s what scares me.” Tony admits, sitting up as well. “You have so little regard for your own safety.” He begins, slotting his fingers back through his husband’s. “And you don’t care what you throw yourself into if it makes you feel better.” Tony looks up to Steve’s eyes to find them directed at their joint fingers. “You can’t be so reckless for the sake of the ones you love.” Steve remains eyeing his hand in the genius’s, unable to deny Tony’s words because he knows he’s right.

Steve stopped caring about what happens to him ever since he jumped out of the tower’s balcony when he couldn’t stop having nightmares about Bucky’s fall. He landed mostly unhurt as he slowed down his fall but it’s the thought that Steve was willing to leave him forever that frightens Tony. So it wasn’t far fetched to him that his husband would do more than just hurt if he lost him.

Steve can’t articulate any of his emotions so he settles for a sigh that lands Tony’s chin on his bare shoulder. “I’ll never stop loving you.” Tony promises in Steve’s ear, wrapping his arm around his waist. Steve turns a fraction to face Tony and presses his forehead to his, nose brushing his very slightly and familiarly. He watches as Tony flutters his eyes closed. “Even if you kissed someone who I wasn’t in love with.” Tony adds, his smile returning to his full lips. Steve smiles as Tony’s lips tug up and he thinks that maybe this can work. He can love Tony and Bucky and still have a last chance at discovering whether Clint likes him or just views him as a friend. He’s not giving up now. Not when he put Tony through so much pain last night. Not if Tony is still smiling and laughing and cracking jokes like nothing’s happened. Maybe Steve can do the same. He doesn’t need to be upset with himself so much when Tony and Bucky aren’t.

He somehow knew Bucky wouldn’t get upset and he didn’t. Maybe it is that Bucky is too sure that he’ll always have Steve. He’s had him the longest. In fact, Bucky actually kissed him for it, congratulating him on finally making a move. That makes up Steve’s mind and he decides that yesterday was a long time ago and today and right now, he’s with the world’s most desirable man who’s naked in bed with his chin on his shoulder. Pain and hurt and upset be damned.

Steve tilts his head to the side and presses his lips to Tony’s who isn’t expecting a kiss. Tony is startled for a millisecond before his eyes flutter shut and he gives Steve’s lips the attention they demand from his. He doesn’t have the chance to kiss Steve for long before finding himself being swept off the bed into the soldier’s arms. He loops his arms around Steve’s neck, resting his head on his broad chest. Steve carries Tony to the shower and sets him on his feet as he gets the water running at an optimal temperature.

Tony pokes Steve in the middle of his chest “Finally decided that I’m right?” He teases, bringing a grin to the Captain’s face. Steve pulls Tony to him and under the heavy spray of water. “Is it that obvious?” He asks, looking over Tony’s shoulder. “Mhmm.” He hears Tony say in response. “You’re you again baby.” Tony props his chin onto Steve’s shoulder. “It’s more than obvious. It’s my Steve.” Steve smiles wide to the wall in front of him. Tony laughs and reaches to his right side for shampoo. Steve shuts his eyes and relaxes under Tony’s fingers, warmth and sweetness filling his heart.

 

Clint sits on the couch of the main living room of the tower, watching TV. He’s not paying attention to the animal show currently on. His mind is further elsewhere. Since Bucky dragged him down, Clint planted himself, cross legged on his favourite couch and has been thinking about exactly just what to say to the Captain. He runs over multiple possibilities of what he can but none are sounding right to him. Bucky makes his way over to him with a bag of chips and a bottle of coke and crashes down next to Clint, immediately reaching for the remote and flipping through the channels.

“Just because you’re not actually watching the TV, doesn’t mean you get to bore me out of my mind by putting on a channel that shows documentaries about the possibility of penguins being homosexual.” Bucky spits out in one breath. Clint isn’t listening but the last part of Bucky’s complaint catches his attention. “Penguins are what?!” “Homosexual. That was the documentary that you were boring me with.” Bucky clears up, choosing a movie he finds interesting and lying back against the back cushions.

“Sorry.” Clint apologizes, unfolding his legs and kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “It’s okay.” Bucky answers distantly, the movie quickly grabbing his full attention. He takes a sip out of his bottle just as Clint’s finger pokes him in his right arm, tearing his eyes away from the TV. “How am I even supposed to get Steve down here?” He asks, worry taking over his voice. “Don’t worry about that. He’ll come down eventually.” Bucky reassures, stuffing way too much chips in his mouth, following them with a chug of coke. Clint impatiently waits for his eyes to return to his own. They don’t and Clint yanks the bottle out of Bucky’s hand. “What if he doesn’t?”

Bucky reclaims his bottle with exasperation. “He always comes down here.” Clint grumbles low in his throat, rising too quickly from his seat and crashing chest first into Steve. Bucky laughs, the scene playing out in front of him more exciting than his movie. Steve’s arms steady Clint at his hips as he stumbles backwards at the impact with Steve’s brick like chest. When he focuses on what just happened, Clint feels Steve’s hands too tight on his hips. He looks up into the Captain’s sea blue eyes. “Sorry.” He breathes, moving his hands down to pull Steve’s away.

“Told you he’d come down.” Bucky brags from where he’s turned in his seat to watch his boyfriends. The look he earns from Clint sends him laughing again. “Cap. I’m not going to fall. You can let go of me.” Clint reminds as Steve’s hands won’t budge. “Yeah.” Steve agrees but doesn’t move his hands from the archer’s hips. Clint covers the soldier’s hands with his own and pulls them away, stepping back as he does. Steve’s eyes follow Clint’s hands to where they still held his. He blushes faintly at the same time that Clint does.

Bucky breaks into laughter once more as he catches their reddened cheeks. He has to pull back his coke bottle from his lips too quickly as he tries not to spill what’s in his mouth. Steve and Bucky glare at him as he swallows his drink and laughs louder. Clint begins to feel his skin sweat around the Captain’s hands but he can’t seem to will his hands away. His heart beats fast in his chest as he dares a look into Steve’s eyes.

Bucky asks JARVIS to tell Tony to hurry because he’s missing too much. Steve’s blush deepens at the thought of his husband seeing this and Clint’s just about as red as a tomato. Steve turns Clint’s hands in his and to his relieved surprise, the archer doesn’t jerk his hands away. He wraps his fingers around Steve’s loosely and reluctantly, allowing himself to even take a tiny step towards him. Steve smiles small, rubbing his thumb over the inside of Clint’s wrist. He hears Tony enter the living room behind him and he looks back.

“What am I missing Bucky? I was in the middle of..” Tony leaves his sentence unfinished as he takes in what’s transpiring in front of him. “Oh this is good.” He amuses, making his way around Clint and Steve to throw himself into Bucky’s lap. He shuffles around to get comfy to watch his husband and boyfriend and steals Bucky’s chips.

Clint barely hears anything beside his blood rushing. He has this sudden realization that Steve can probably hear his heart beat as well, can probably even feel it under his thumb. His heart jumps at the thought. Steve decides to go through with what he came down to do. “Clint.” He whispers quietly, the name still foreign to his lips. Clint’s eyes travel to meet Steve’s shyly. “Yes Cap?” Steve bites his bottom lip, unsure how to proceed. Clint takes notice and gives Steve’s hands gentle squeezes as if saying go on. He actually shocked himself by doing that. But he figured, he didn’t know where to start and here was Steve, hands in his trying to say the exact same thing he couldn’t. He’d rather let him talk because Clint would never be able to put it like Steve would.

Steve drops his gaze to their hands. “Yesterday when I kissed you..” He shuts his eyes and tries again. “We’ve been spending a lot of time together and I thought that.. that..” Steve sighs, unable to say the words racing in his head. “That what?” Clint pushes with another small step toward the chest that nearly knocked him over. “That you might like me.” Steve finishes his sentence, daring a glance up at the archer’s blues that widen before his eyes. “You could tell?” Clint asks, clearly not expecting Steve to confront him. The Captain nods. “I like you as well. That’s why I was as bold as I was because I can’t stop thinking about the things you say to me or how you can make me laugh. I never thought that I..” Steve looks away, the rest of the confession hanging in his throat.

“That you what?” Clint asks then runs over what Steve just said. I make him laugh? His mind smiles at him in his thoughts. And he can’t stop thinking about what I say? He shakes his head, trying to quiet the voice in it. Steve remains silent, turned towards Tony and Bucky who’ve gone very still. “Steve. That you what?” Clint repeats, his expression pleading that Steve have mercy and tell him. Steve’s upper lip curls catches between his teeth as he tries to say what he wishes to. He exchanges looks with Bucky and Tony who nod to him, encouraging him on.

He swallows the nagging fear in his heart and takes the last step towards Clint. “That I could fall in love with you as quickly as I have.” Clint’s jaw drops and his eyes widen still, tears forming at the corners of them. “You love me?” He asks childishly, spilling a tear at his disbelief. “I love you.” Steve admits, pulling his hands closer to him. Clint gasps and begins to cry, the rush of emotions he so rarely had confessed to him, sending him over the edge. He pulls his hands away from Steve’s to cover his face. Steve parts his lips, but all words are useless. He takes Clint’s wrists and drops them to his sides. “I love you but I don’t expect you to feel the same.” Steve reassures him, smile sad as his tears are threatening to copy Clint’s. He lifts a thumb and wipes away at Clint’s cheek. “I feel the same way.” Clint mumbles watching the Captain’s tears spill. Steve shakes his head, smiling.

“I love you.” Clint whispers, returning Steve’s affection. Steve’s smile widens and more tears run down his cheeks. He tilts his head, leaning down a little, and presses his lips to Clint’s. Clint kisses him back softly, simply brushing his lips against his. But it’s enough. It’s him and it’s Steve and it’s their first kiss and it’s right. Steve’s hands return to Clint’s hips and Clint’s loop around his neck, inviting him in. Steve kisses him slowly as if in promise that they’ll have all the time in the world to do exactly this. Clint smiles at Steve’s lips, pulling away hesitantly. Steve cups his face, thumbs brushing away the last of his tears. “I love you.” He reminds Clint who laughs and pulls Steve’s neck towards him, touching their foreheads. “I have a feeling you’ll be reminding me of that a lot.” He jokes. Steve chuckles and motions for Tony and Bucky to join them. They rise from the couch together and walk hand-in-hand towards Clint and Steve. Bucky wraps his arms around Steve’s waist, landing kisses to his neck. Tony holds Clint close to his chest and kisses between his shoulder blades. Steve and Clint smile at Bucky and Tony’s approval before Clint takes Steve’s lips between his again, returning his promise of forever.


End file.
